Fear and Loathing in Reality TV: Development Edition

"Fear is the mind-killer.” George Herbert, Dune. 

"Our fears are like dragons guarding our most precious treasure." Rainer Maria Rilke.

After the attacks in Paris, Beirut, Bamaco, Tunis (and counting), there’s a fair amount of fear around these days. Fear can be handy if you’re a politician. George Bush used it to motivate a war against Iraq, a secular country that didn’t attack America, while choosing to ignore Wahhabist Saudi Arabia from whence Bin Laden and most of the hijackers hailed. Now cohorts in his party are using it to reject the refugees they produced by fucking up that war. It seems that fear can be wielded to justify just about anything. 

But fear also informs the decisions we think we’re making freely. Specifically the stupid/destructive ones. It is certainly rampant in every aspect of Reality television production; its prevalence is so all-encompassing that to do it justice I will serialize this discussion. Let’s call it: Fear and Loathing in Reality TV. For the purposes of this exercise I’ll walk you through the development, production and edit of a hypothetical Reality show called, The Rarin’ Oliveris.

PART ONE: DEVELOPMENT

The story starts, as must any story of this ilk, with the owner of a Production Company—we'll call him Bob—and, because Bob is that kind of guy, his company’s named Bob’s Your Uncle Productions. Bob's actually a pretty insecure guy. He doesn't have a whole lot of experience in the industry, and started the company with money from his in-laws, who refinanced their home. Bob sold a series last year which kept things afloat, but until (when!) that gets renewed he needs to keep selling. He needs to make his overhead.

Now, while most people not in the industry assume networks and cable channels produce their own shows, this is not the case. Companies like Bob’s Your Uncle pitch show ideas to networks. When a network buys a show, they basically provide the pitching production company with the budget to produce it.  

Bob recently found out that let's say TLC is looking for family-oriented shows: stuff with a heart but also a twist. Like, say, the Duggars, without the molestation. As luck would have it, Bob knows just such a family: the Oliveris of Staten Island. The Oliveris have a family rock 'n roll band that plays gigs around New Jersey. Mom plays keyboard, daughter plays drums, son shakes a mean tambourine, and dad takes lead vocals. Outside of being a band, though, they're a regular, very tight-knit family. 

Bob's nervous. Any money he uses to shoot what we call a sizzle reel is wasted if it doesn't sell. Still, TLC's looking for this kind of thing, the Oliveris are real over-the-top type Reality characters,  and also ... Staten Island. If he doesn't pitch this, someone else will. So he musters resources to shoot a sizzle. He tries to keep the cost of production down (read: unpaid interns and possibly an underpaid Associate Producer) but still has to drop a couple of thousand dollars in editing. He just hopes he's made the right decision producing this pitch. 

Bob shoots at least ten of these a year and sometimes he doesn't sell any of them. So, he spends about $20K on Development a year (and, frankly, this is vastly understating the number of pitches production companies probably make each year). This is a scary amount of money to throw against the wall in the hopes of something sticking.

The day of the Network meeting an anxious Bob arrives with three sizzle reels (he’s modified two other pitches so that they meet the family-with-a-twist spec) and a desperate smile. The network exec's late; there’s a new Head of Programming at the network and there have been nonstop meetings since his arrival. (Unbeknownst to fearful Bob, the exec herself is terrified that the new boss will toss her like the other execs who’ve recently been let go). She's sorry but she only has ten minutes. 

Bob bobs his head, of course, of course while calculating internally which pitch to discard - he won't have time for three. So, what have you got to show me? Bob hits plays on his first sizzle, a pitch about an Alaskan survivalist family. Bob's on the edge of his seat. This is a strong concept (and is secretly Bob's favorite) but as he unspools the sample the network exec is constantly checking her email. Shit, he's really not getting traction with this one. 

Survive! Alaska is a bust. Bob moves onto the The Rarin' Oliveris. The network exec's still checking her phone but she seems faintly amused by footage of mom and dad getting into a fight about wardrobe. Bob perks up. The executive looks down at her phone. Fuck. He raises the audio to get her attention. The sizzle cuts to the Oliveris doing a show at a Staten Island church venue. The executive glances up. “Ooh, a church!” she says. As it happens, the new Head of Programming specifically wants more Christian family programming. What would be really good, she says, is if the Oliveris were actually Christians seeking to spread the Word by singing Bible-inspired songs at Christian venues. Would this be possible?

Well, no, not really. The Oliveris are many things, but church-going ain’t one of them. Also, their songs are generally rockabilly with a dash of jazz. But this is the first positive response he's had all meeting. So Bob, motivated by the fear of what will happen if he doesn't make a sale, says sure. He has no idea exactly how such a thing may be executed, or even if it can be, but he starts making all kinds of promises he really can't deliver on.

Bob makes the sale: an eight episode, half-hour series. Only, instead of the show being about a zany Staten Island family called The Rarin' Oliveris, now it's Alleluyah Oliveri. And instead of a docusoap about a hard-drinking, cursing, rock 'n roll family (the reality) it's a docusoap about a family of big characters committed to spreading the word of God (the Reality). Also the budget is pretty small and they want to premiere the show in about, you know, 4 months. Can you do it Bob? Yes! (This is where, in interview bite, we would have Bob confess that he has no idea how to pull this off!!)

CLIFFHANG INTO COMMERCIAL as we say.

Reality Bits

Dance Moms’ teacher Abby Lee Miller has been indicted for fraud. Following an investigation by the FBI, IRS and postal inspectors it has been revealed that Miller hid $755,000 in income. 

I was forced to watch episodes of the Lifetime series a while back when I was showrunning another show featuring kids.  As I was told more than once that our show should in no way be like Dance Moms I felt obliged to watch it. Who knew how much that shit would trigger me?    

As a formerly serious ballet dancer I am sadly well acquainted with the sadists who find a calling as dance teachers, but Miller takes things to a whole new level. 

Suffice it to say, I'm not exactly saddened to hear about her legal issues. Fingers crossed they will also result in her child abusing show getting cancelled!

#DanceMoms

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Next, a couple new things to report on the Duggar front (the family has provided much fodder for this blog): Anna Duggar, long-suffering spouse of Josh-the-molester, has sold their home in Arkansas and moved her family to Florida (where her own cultish family lives).  Some folks are hoping this is a sign that Anna may divorce the Duggar, but I wouldn't hold my breath.    

In seemingly unrelated (but likely not so unrelated) news Michelle Duggar gave the following advice to a pregnant fan asking about how to be the best wifey despite her condition: 

"You've got to remember this. Anyone can iron Jim Bob's shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy.  So when you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don't forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need."

Some publications believe this is shade aimed at Anna, whose husband strayed with porn stars while she was pregnant.  

#19kidsandcounting #freeanna

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Finally, Effie Brown can't win for losing on Project Greenlight.  As discussed earlier on this blog, on the first episode of Project Greenlight she was presented as the Archetypal Black Woman raising issues of diversity in choosing a director. As the the show has unfolded, however, she has been (surprisingly) recast as The Man as in "The Man is keeping me down."   

In Project Greenlight terms, The Man is whoever stands in the way of the Visionary Director. In the real world as well as on the show, that would be the Producer (AKA the person who controls the budget). As Producer, a role she has successfully inhabited IRL, Brown made the perfectly reasonable suggestion that the Visionary Director Jason Mann shoot his film on a digital format rather than 35 mm. Well, it's reasonable unless you are wrapped up in the mythology of the whole Visionary Director schtick.  Because Visionary Directors only shoot on film. So Jason was obliged to go over Brown's head to get the format he wanted.  

In this fascinating interview with Indiewire, Brown discusses her experience on the show, and why doing it was a bad idea. 

As I always say, kids, when it comes to appearing on a Reality show: JUST SAY NO!!!!

#damonsplaining #projectgreenlight

The Return of the Dread Duggars (AKA TLC Wants the Mon-ay)

Few of my closest acquaintances would accuse me of being an optimist. They'd laugh at the idea. And yet, there I was hoping that TLC would have stuck to the decision they so reluctantly came to to remove the Duggar clan from the air.

Instead, the broadcaster has announced it will air "specials" in the coming months focused on Jill and Jessa Duggar (not coincidentally two of the sisters Josh Duggar is on record as having abused). This is clearly part of the long game in which TLC has been engaged - first waiting a full 3 months to make sure we wouldn't just forget about the whole Josh issue, then rolling out the least desirable special of all time (to prove, you know, that they care), and finally, now welcoming a family that facilitates molestation back to the air.

And have no doubt, these new specials will also feature the horror show known as the Duggar parents (who failed to report their son's behavior after it had been pointed out to them more than once). No doubt the family as a whole will benefit financially (on the upside - less begging for money from their followers). No doubt those specials will evolve into a series.

Any right-thinking person would have to concede that these two women should not be victimized (again) for the sins of their paedophile brother; they are the least tarnished by this scandal, which is why the Duggar comeback is being packaged around them. Additionally, time heals all social media wounds. A cursory examination of articles announcing the return of the family (sans Josh) as well as the 15,000 Kids and Counting FB page, indicates that most of those outraged by the original story have since moved on to other inflammatory subjects.

Left behind is the original audience for the show: middle class white folks based in the middle of the country who tend towards evangelical Christianity i.e. not us crazy Queers on the coasts some of whom happen to produce the programming said Christians watch (unless Mamma Michelle gets us fired, that is). Those folks are thrilled to invite the Duggars back into their homes (They never understood why the liberal media elite were so hung up on the small matter of molestation - and the covering up thereof - in the first place.)

This is the audience responsible for the 19 million dollars in ad sale revenue TLC was raking in. Anyone who has ever worked for TLC knows that white middle-class folks in the middle of the country is their target demographic, and that they program accordingly.  (Fun game: watch a night of TLC programming and count the number of Black and Latino people featured versus the Whites.)  And let's not kid ourselves - all networks make these kinds of choices to a greater or lesser degree depending upon their audience.

That being said, programming the Duggars is pretty fucking cynical, given how damaging their way of life has proven to be.

For instance, I can't help but feel that Josh Duggar's issues (and he evidently has more than one) arise out of the environment he grew up in. How can a child come to terms with his sexuality when, on the one hand, his parents are fucking like bunnies but on the other he's getting his wrists tied together when he's caught masturbating?

Then there's whole repopulating the world with white Christians that the Quiverfull folks are largely endorsing; and let's not fool ourselves that this isn't about race - take a good look at this search on Quiverfull adherents.  Notice anything?

Finally, there's that asshole Bill Gothard, the spiritual leader of the Duggars, who's a committed paedophile himself.

And this isn't just about TLC (or Discovery). Why is there such a commitment across broadcasters to, say, celebrate the wives of criminals, encourage women to get into physical fights, and implicitly provoke cops to "perform for camera" with deadly consequences?

Is it really too much to ask that broadcasters (and production companies) behave as responsible citizens in their programming choices? Are there really so few topics for programming, that we can't have programming free of right wing nutjobs and thugs? Can we really not create shows more like Little People, Big World, and cast aside the shit likes Mob Wives?

Based on what I'm seeing on the inside, this problematic shit is developed more out of laziness than a lack of viable alternatives. Both production companies and especially broadcasters would far rather copy another successful show, than develop one themselves.

Look, like most (all?) cynics I am actually plagued by idealism. I'm disgruntled with the world not because I believe it is depraved per se, but because I have a vision of how much better it could be. And reality programming, for one, could be a whole lot better if we just tried.

Project Greenlight, Matt Damon and the Myth of the Visionary Director

Fuck Matt Damon.  No, seriously, fuck this dude.  Because of his mansplaining (or #Damonsplaining) of diversity to a Black woman, I felt obligated to watch Project Greenlight.  And I hate Project Greenlight. 

Particularly because it relies on that most problematic of Archetypes, the Visionary Director (AKA Auteur).

Take the following incident from season one, episode six of the show.  Writer/director Pete Jones wants to cover a scene beneath an elevated train track in an uninterrupted tracking shot.  This tracking shot is his Vision for the scene.  Yet, when Jones arrives on location he discovers that the train comes every ten minutes or so.  Somehow the crack team of professionals hired to guide Jones through his first feature failed to check the schedule (because, Reality).  Uninterrupted tracking shot plus young actors (struggling to remember/deliver dialogue) plus train every ten minutes equals disaster (i.e. conflict). You might say those seasoned professionals allowed Jones to be hoisted by his own Vision.

Indeed, the greater the hubris of the Visionary Director (hereafter referred to as the VD), the greater the possibility for conflict.  It comes as no surprise, therefore, that Jason Mann has been elected season four's VD.  Mann exhibits all the "Fuck-you-all, I'm the director!" the VD position requires.   While other competitors tried to remain polite about the Farrelly brothers script they would be shooting, our friend Jason had no such qualms, stating that the script would need to be extensively re-written to suit his purposes.  Fuck the writers, Jason's got a Vision. (He also, apparently, gets that he's supposed to be an asshole to be on the show, and has an appropriately VD-ish way of filling a director's chair).  

The team that Effie Brown was supporting, Leo Kei Angelos and Kristen Brancaccio, by contrast were polite (AKA not VDs and not, therefore, viable for the show).  It is worth actually parsing the words that have landed Damon in the pile of shit on which he currently sits, because they reveal more than internalized/institutionalized racism that is standard operating procedure in Hollywood.  In the episode he says, "when you’re talking about diversity, you do it in the casting of the film, not the casting of the show.” The use of the word "casting" has been somewhat lost in the understandable maelstrom that has ensued.  However, what Damon is saying, in so many words, is that the Angelos and Brancaccio team don't work as a cast for Project Greenlight.  Not that they don't work as viable potential directors for a film.    

Which isn't surprising because, as anyone who has actually spent any time in the industry can tell you, film is a collaborative fucking medium.  While there may be some VDs out there, most directors fall into a spectrum somewhere between good and mediocre, and most are supported by a team of people (cinematographers, set designers, wardrobe people, editors) who are integral to delivering a strong product (and who prevent them from doing stupid shit like Jones' tracking shot).  A good team not only compensates for weaknesses in the directing, but also provides a sounding board for the director.  Smart directors (one might even say Visionary Directors) know this and, as a result, keep the same group of people around them from project to project.   

And yet, young filmmakers coming up, whether in film school or simply by studying the industry, are force-fed the VD Myth that they are supposed to rule their productions with a singular vision.  I bought into it myself when I started out, and it brought me nothing but unnecessary pressure and misery.  Over time I figured out that I didn't have to have all the answers, that the work might actually be better if I empowered everyone on my crew to have and express their opinions.

Nevertheless, the Myth of the VD persists.  **UPDATE: A loyal reader has also pointed out that the DGA effectively promotes the VD Myth by making co-directing credits almost impossible to obtain!**  Even on Reality (that most non-VD-worthy of forms) young directors are convinced that their role is that of dictating, not trying to elicit the best from their team (resulting in predictably awful work).  A prime example of what happens when a would-be VD gets their hands on a big feature is evident in Josh Trank's epic meltdown on the set of The Fantastic Four.  

However, some instances of VD-ness are not as entertaining; some are lethal.  Such was the case when mediocre (to poor) director Randall Miller insisted (in a moment of excessive VD) on shooting on a live train track despite having been denied permission by the railway to do so.  No other rail option (and there were other, safe options) suited his Vision.  One dead Camera Assistant and several injured crew members later, Miller sits in Georgia prison having plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter.

So, quite honestly, fuck this whole VD Myth.  For real.  

Frankly, by already teaming up in their endeavors, Leo Kei Angelos and Kristen Brancaccio (the eliminated Project Greenlight directing team) are already winners.  Between them they bring the kind of diverse viewpoints that inherently makes for stronger work.   And in bypassing the whole debased VD Myth in agreeing to share the directing role, they indicate an acceptance of collaboration that will bring the best out of their production team.  In that regard, they are (combined) a Director who is much more likely to succeed than your average, know-nothing VD.