Fear and Loathing in Reality TV: Development Edition

"Fear is the mind-killer.” George Herbert, Dune. 

"Our fears are like dragons guarding our most precious treasure." Rainer Maria Rilke.

After the attacks in Paris, Beirut, Bamaco, Tunis (and counting), there’s a fair amount of fear around these days. Fear can be handy if you’re a politician. George Bush used it to motivate a war against Iraq, a secular country that didn’t attack America, while choosing to ignore Wahhabist Saudi Arabia from whence Bin Laden and most of the hijackers hailed. Now cohorts in his party are using it to reject the refugees they produced by fucking up that war. It seems that fear can be wielded to justify just about anything. 

But fear also informs the decisions we think we’re making freely. Specifically the stupid/destructive ones. It is certainly rampant in every aspect of Reality television production; its prevalence is so all-encompassing that to do it justice I will serialize this discussion. Let’s call it: Fear and Loathing in Reality TV. For the purposes of this exercise I’ll walk you through the development, production and edit of a hypothetical Reality show called, The Rarin’ Oliveris.

PART ONE: DEVELOPMENT

The story starts, as must any story of this ilk, with the owner of a Production Company—we'll call him Bob—and, because Bob is that kind of guy, his company’s named Bob’s Your Uncle Productions. Bob's actually a pretty insecure guy. He doesn't have a whole lot of experience in the industry, and started the company with money from his in-laws, who refinanced their home. Bob sold a series last year which kept things afloat, but until (when!) that gets renewed he needs to keep selling. He needs to make his overhead.

Now, while most people not in the industry assume networks and cable channels produce their own shows, this is not the case. Companies like Bob’s Your Uncle pitch show ideas to networks. When a network buys a show, they basically provide the pitching production company with the budget to produce it.  

Bob recently found out that let's say TLC is looking for family-oriented shows: stuff with a heart but also a twist. Like, say, the Duggars, without the molestation. As luck would have it, Bob knows just such a family: the Oliveris of Staten Island. The Oliveris have a family rock 'n roll band that plays gigs around New Jersey. Mom plays keyboard, daughter plays drums, son shakes a mean tambourine, and dad takes lead vocals. Outside of being a band, though, they're a regular, very tight-knit family. 

Bob's nervous. Any money he uses to shoot what we call a sizzle reel is wasted if it doesn't sell. Still, TLC's looking for this kind of thing, the Oliveris are real over-the-top type Reality characters,  and also ... Staten Island. If he doesn't pitch this, someone else will. So he musters resources to shoot a sizzle. He tries to keep the cost of production down (read: unpaid interns and possibly an underpaid Associate Producer) but still has to drop a couple of thousand dollars in editing. He just hopes he's made the right decision producing this pitch. 

Bob shoots at least ten of these a year and sometimes he doesn't sell any of them. So, he spends about $20K on Development a year (and, frankly, this is vastly understating the number of pitches production companies probably make each year). This is a scary amount of money to throw against the wall in the hopes of something sticking.

The day of the Network meeting an anxious Bob arrives with three sizzle reels (he’s modified two other pitches so that they meet the family-with-a-twist spec) and a desperate smile. The network exec's late; there’s a new Head of Programming at the network and there have been nonstop meetings since his arrival. (Unbeknownst to fearful Bob, the exec herself is terrified that the new boss will toss her like the other execs who’ve recently been let go). She's sorry but she only has ten minutes. 

Bob bobs his head, of course, of course while calculating internally which pitch to discard - he won't have time for three. So, what have you got to show me? Bob hits plays on his first sizzle, a pitch about an Alaskan survivalist family. Bob's on the edge of his seat. This is a strong concept (and is secretly Bob's favorite) but as he unspools the sample the network exec is constantly checking her email. Shit, he's really not getting traction with this one. 

Survive! Alaska is a bust. Bob moves onto the The Rarin' Oliveris. The network exec's still checking her phone but she seems faintly amused by footage of mom and dad getting into a fight about wardrobe. Bob perks up. The executive looks down at her phone. Fuck. He raises the audio to get her attention. The sizzle cuts to the Oliveris doing a show at a Staten Island church venue. The executive glances up. “Ooh, a church!” she says. As it happens, the new Head of Programming specifically wants more Christian family programming. What would be really good, she says, is if the Oliveris were actually Christians seeking to spread the Word by singing Bible-inspired songs at Christian venues. Would this be possible?

Well, no, not really. The Oliveris are many things, but church-going ain’t one of them. Also, their songs are generally rockabilly with a dash of jazz. But this is the first positive response he's had all meeting. So Bob, motivated by the fear of what will happen if he doesn't make a sale, says sure. He has no idea exactly how such a thing may be executed, or even if it can be, but he starts making all kinds of promises he really can't deliver on.

Bob makes the sale: an eight episode, half-hour series. Only, instead of the show being about a zany Staten Island family called The Rarin' Oliveris, now it's Alleluyah Oliveri. And instead of a docusoap about a hard-drinking, cursing, rock 'n roll family (the reality) it's a docusoap about a family of big characters committed to spreading the word of God (the Reality). Also the budget is pretty small and they want to premiere the show in about, you know, 4 months. Can you do it Bob? Yes! (This is where, in interview bite, we would have Bob confess that he has no idea how to pull this off!!)

CLIFFHANG INTO COMMERCIAL as we say.

The Return of the Dread Duggars (AKA TLC Wants the Mon-ay)

Few of my closest acquaintances would accuse me of being an optimist. They'd laugh at the idea. And yet, there I was hoping that TLC would have stuck to the decision they so reluctantly came to to remove the Duggar clan from the air.

Instead, the broadcaster has announced it will air "specials" in the coming months focused on Jill and Jessa Duggar (not coincidentally two of the sisters Josh Duggar is on record as having abused). This is clearly part of the long game in which TLC has been engaged - first waiting a full 3 months to make sure we wouldn't just forget about the whole Josh issue, then rolling out the least desirable special of all time (to prove, you know, that they care), and finally, now welcoming a family that facilitates molestation back to the air.

And have no doubt, these new specials will also feature the horror show known as the Duggar parents (who failed to report their son's behavior after it had been pointed out to them more than once). No doubt the family as a whole will benefit financially (on the upside - less begging for money from their followers). No doubt those specials will evolve into a series.

Any right-thinking person would have to concede that these two women should not be victimized (again) for the sins of their paedophile brother; they are the least tarnished by this scandal, which is why the Duggar comeback is being packaged around them. Additionally, time heals all social media wounds. A cursory examination of articles announcing the return of the family (sans Josh) as well as the 15,000 Kids and Counting FB page, indicates that most of those outraged by the original story have since moved on to other inflammatory subjects.

Left behind is the original audience for the show: middle class white folks based in the middle of the country who tend towards evangelical Christianity i.e. not us crazy Queers on the coasts some of whom happen to produce the programming said Christians watch (unless Mamma Michelle gets us fired, that is). Those folks are thrilled to invite the Duggars back into their homes (They never understood why the liberal media elite were so hung up on the small matter of molestation - and the covering up thereof - in the first place.)

This is the audience responsible for the 19 million dollars in ad sale revenue TLC was raking in. Anyone who has ever worked for TLC knows that white middle-class folks in the middle of the country is their target demographic, and that they program accordingly.  (Fun game: watch a night of TLC programming and count the number of Black and Latino people featured versus the Whites.)  And let's not kid ourselves - all networks make these kinds of choices to a greater or lesser degree depending upon their audience.

That being said, programming the Duggars is pretty fucking cynical, given how damaging their way of life has proven to be.

For instance, I can't help but feel that Josh Duggar's issues (and he evidently has more than one) arise out of the environment he grew up in. How can a child come to terms with his sexuality when, on the one hand, his parents are fucking like bunnies but on the other he's getting his wrists tied together when he's caught masturbating?

Then there's whole repopulating the world with white Christians that the Quiverfull folks are largely endorsing; and let's not fool ourselves that this isn't about race - take a good look at this search on Quiverfull adherents.  Notice anything?

Finally, there's that asshole Bill Gothard, the spiritual leader of the Duggars, who's a committed paedophile himself.

And this isn't just about TLC (or Discovery). Why is there such a commitment across broadcasters to, say, celebrate the wives of criminals, encourage women to get into physical fights, and implicitly provoke cops to "perform for camera" with deadly consequences?

Is it really too much to ask that broadcasters (and production companies) behave as responsible citizens in their programming choices? Are there really so few topics for programming, that we can't have programming free of right wing nutjobs and thugs? Can we really not create shows more like Little People, Big World, and cast aside the shit likes Mob Wives?

Based on what I'm seeing on the inside, this problematic shit is developed more out of laziness than a lack of viable alternatives. Both production companies and especially broadcasters would far rather copy another successful show, than develop one themselves.

Look, like most (all?) cynics I am actually plagued by idealism. I'm disgruntled with the world not because I believe it is depraved per se, but because I have a vision of how much better it could be. And reality programming, for one, could be a whole lot better if we just tried.

Reality's Josh Duggar Problem

Well, the Ashley Madison leak happened and in short order Josh Duggar was exposed as having two accounts on the site as well as an OK Cupid profile.  Needless to say, this is delightful to those of us who dislike everything famille Duggar stands for, especially given earlier revelations about Josh, the incestuous paedophile. (ineptly covered up by Mom and Pop Duggar).  But I'm a reality producer, so I'm far more preoccupied by what the story means in terms of what I do for a living than in passing judgement on someone who clearly has issues.  (Oddly enough, I find the Ashley Madison revelation somewhat comforting, as it indicates that at least his present appetites - that we are aware of - involve adults.)

When the molestation story broke, however, I was enraged.  Not at Duggar or his strangely childlike parents--as I have zero expectations where those freaks are concerned--but at TLC.  Based on my (admittedly) obsessive research regarding the abuse, the Springdale cops started investigating the matter in 2006.  This would be after TLC specials about the Duggars had aired, but before they got more specials and, ultimately, a series.  And the matter only came to the attention of the authorities because, as a result of those specials, the family was scheduled to appear on Oprah, and an anonymous individual e-mailed Oprah's producers with information about Duggar's molesting ways.  Those producers, to their infinite credit, canceled the Duggar's appearance and forwarded the info to the Dept. of Health & Human Services hotline (1.800.422.4453), which triggered a Springdale police investigation.

I'm sure that there are those who might question how reporting criminal behavior to authorities is something one should receive infinite credit for.  After all, wouldn't anyone?  Well, um, apparently not the folks at TLC.  Because it frankly beggars belief that TLC and the production company shooting the series were somehow oblivious to these charges. The anonymous e-mailer who contacted Oprah clearly had an axe to grind (let's take a moment to thank baby Jeebus for that grinder and their axe, amen), and would surely not hesitate to contact TLC with the same allegations. Additionally, the accusations against Josh were available in online forums from 2007 onwards.  Thus, unless we assume that in the year of 2007 Discovery Communications had not yet succumbed to the fiendish temptations of the interwebs (and were thus unable to receive e-mail or research their Talent online), we have no choice but to assume that someone(s) knew about it, and chose to ignore it.  

Which is why I was so pissed at TLC in particular, and the industry in general.  Because none of this surprises me.   People who work in reality television are subject to precisely zero rules of personal and professional conduct.  I have only once been given anything resembling ethical instruction on a show and that was: 

don't fuck the Talent 

That's it.  There are no rules about how far we can push the reality (like the degree to which we can fake or just plain make shit up about people); how crews should be treated (PAs on reality in particular are abused to the point where their lack of sleep actually endangers the crew members and cast they drive around); or how far we can let physical fights to develop between characters before stepping in.  The lines are beyond blurred.

Added to that, we work in a genre that celebrates freakish behavior of all kinds (freaks be good TV) and yet we have no regulations in place to address when the purely freaky becomes, you know, fucking criminal. Obviously people should always contact the cops about criminal behavior, but many won't.  We don't wanna lose our jobs or we figure someone else will deal with it or whatever.   Nor is there any incentive to do the right thing.  While Oprah's producers were empowered by their bosses (or boss lady?) to immediately put the kibosh on enablers of child abuse, TLC inspires no similar sense of empowerment.

Just take a look at their dismal response to the Duggar allegations becoming public: a half-assed statement, followed by months of hoping the whole thing would just go away, followed be a begrudging cancellation, followed by sniveling about their loss of revenue.  Oh, but on the upside, they are gifting us with this documentary special on molestation starring the parents who hid their son's abuse and starring some of his victims.  (The last time I was so mortified by a gift was December 1990 when my girlfriend's mother gave me a sailor suit for Christmas.)   I suppose it's too much to expect that a broadcaster with such a history of problematic shows would be capable of more.

Which is why we need a free-standing set of ethical guidelines.

We need a comprehensive list of dos and don'ts to illuminate the otherwise murky endeavor of producing Reality TV.  Because things get so relative it is sometimes difficult to know when you've crossed a line.  Such guidelines could be produced by people working at all levels of the industry, and signed onto at will.  And while most likely not legally binding, signing on would indicate a will to do the right thing.  An oath can be a powerful thing: those of us who have taken the Pledge for Sarah can attest to how it's changed us.  It made this hardened reality producer almost weep.

And we need to do this sooner rather than later.  Because Josh Duggar isn't the only problematic character out there.  He is just the very public tip (yeah, I said it) of an enormous iceberg.

Also, Josh Duggar's brother-in-law is my new favorite dude.

#TCA16